The Longing Of My Heart
by snowflake2410
Summary: Petrola Barton is not your average first class girl. She's a controversy, and a certain Irish man seems to like that, so what happens when she has to make the decision between a rich life full of stuck up people or a poor marriage between her and the man of dreams? Several months prior to the Titanic. Tommy Ryan/Oc
1. Chapter 1

In the little quiet town of Mansing, New York, there was a tiny house house on Oak Street.  
It was an old house, but still quite beautiful.  
It was victorian styled, made of wood.  
It was white with a blue trim, the paint peeling.  
The grass grew tall and huge.  
Flowers accompineied the cobblestone walkway to the front door.  
A wrap around porch held it's signifigance, even with the ugly brown wood lying on it.  
An iron gate out front to keep out intruders, and the woods as the backyard playground for this house.  
An old grand Oak tree stood out front, still growning huge and tall, even after 150.  
This is where the road lying in front of the house got it's namesake.  
Inside were many rooms, all small but cozy.  
In the parlor was a fireplace, and in the kitchen was a wood stove.  
Yes this house was as pretty as could be.  
But the thing that made this house so special was the family that lived in it.  
And the history behind that family.  
Well one day the eldest daughter of this family came home from school.  
She was a beautiful teenage girl.  
Dark brown hair and stunning sea green eyes.  
She saw something that day at school, that made her feel ashamed.  
A boy was bullied.  
An Irish boy.  
He had just moved here from Dubland.  
He had Brown curly hair, and green eyes...kinda like her.  
Anyway he got provoked by these boys, and he beat them to a pulp.  
A teacher nearby came and saw what looked like a new bully at school So the boy got suspended insted of the others.  
The girl had witnessed everything, and said nothing to prove the boy's innocence.  
She was scared that the actual bullies would come after her next.  
So she stayed silent.  
Her parents were home, and noticed she was more withdrawn than most days.  
When they asked, she finally broke down and started to cry.  
She told her parents about her cowardice, and the boy, and the bullies.  
Her parents stayed silent after hearing the events of today.  
"Honey, I'm going to take her upstairs, to the attic."  
"Are you sure?"  
"I'm positive."  
Her mom left to the kitchen and her told the girl to go up to the attic with him.  
She nodded, and went upstairs.  
Opening the door, they went into a big, triangular room, filled with stuff from the late 1800's to the late 1980's.  
He dad went to a trunk and opened it.  
He took out a hat, a faded colorful bag, a brown coat that had patches on the elbows, a small box, a book, and a picture.  
The girl by then had stopped crying and stared at her father.  
"Daddy, what is all of this stuff?"  
Her dad smiled and sighed.  
"This stuff belonged to your Great grandparents. My father gave me this diary to read, that I'm going to give to you.  
The girl nodded. "Yeah."  
Her father sighed.  
"Now,- He gave her the book-, read until you stop. Read out loud. Now start with the first page until the end. I'm gonna go downstairs. Are you okay up here?"  
"Yes."  
"Alrighty then." Her father got up and exited the room.  
She opened her mouth after he left, and the story began. 


	2. Chapter 2

October 20th, 1911.  
Hello there. You're probably wondering who I am right about now. My name is Petrola Barton. You are my new companion on my first journey away from home. I hope we can be good friends. I need one. You see, it'll be the first time I'll be away from my family. We all lived on a crowded farm house in the Oaklahoma territory. Life was nice, then my dad struck it big time when he discovered oil on our property. Goodbye fun, hello society. But I can't complain. After living a life of surviving by the day, being rich can have it's perks. Like buying bigger property. And more horses. And self-defense classes. What? A girl has to protect herself somehow. But being wealthy also has it's downfalls. Like my family pretending to be something that they're not. Or the lads that come to the house to court me, but that are only intrested in my pa's money.  
Or riding side saddle. Or not being able to milk ol' Betsy any more. Or not being able to pick fights with my brothers. Or not getting that good feeling of being able to earn your living when your crops not being able to wear my trusty old dresses and having to wear corsets. Or ma forcing me to give up sewing and jerky making. Or not skinning an animal for fun. Or not being able to hunt. Or the snakes that come by which happen to be other upper class ladies. Or no smoking home made cigars. Or the refinement classes.  
I'm sorry, but after 18 years, wouldn't you think it'd be a little late to teach me to be polite?  
As in not spitting chew into a nearby spitoon.  
As in not arm wrestling with my pa.  
Basically you get the picture.  
This stuff went on about a year, until I snapped.  
I couldn't take it anymore. I asked my dad to build me my own small cabin on the edge of our property to live like how we used to. But ma wouldn't have it. So I came up with an agreement, well more of them.  
They said if I was more than willingly to give up the life God had granted us, to be more humble than fine. But in order to really make up my mind, they said they would send me into the world of riches for several months so that I could see what I would be giving up. If I come back still unwilling to this so-called glamorous life, then they would cut me off, like I asked, but they would still be here as my family.  
So here I am in a motor car with my chaperone.  
Miss Molly Brown.  
I like Miss Molly, she's not like the others.  
She understands how I feel, which is rare nowadays.  
She became rich a lot similar to us, only they struck gold, not oil.  
My Pa met her husband at a retreat in Texas and our families instantly clicked.  
Her son even tried to court me, but when he tried to kiss me, I threw cow dung in his face.  
Miss Molly laughed about it.  
Whe she heard about everything, she volunteered to go somewhere with me.  
Orginally we were going to stay in Oaklahoma, but she said If I truly wanted to make up my mind we would need to go some place faraway. So we chose Ireland.  
I really just think she always wanted to come here, and needed an excuse to do so.  
Plus she knew if I was gonna do this on my own, I would make a run for it.  
What can I say?  
That woman has an extra sense in her.  
So it's just me and her, going to a Manor that she rented out for us.  
The bast part?  
A small little cottage, 20 ft away from the main house, just for me.  
I also know Molly wouldn't force this on me, so if I want to go to a party or something then I'll go on my own accord,  
not because she's making me.  
Anyway I have to go, I see the house coming into view.  
With all my love, Petrola.

October 22nd, 1911 My word the Manor is beautiful, it's so majestic. After I helped Miss Molly get settled into the Manor she gave me permission to go and explore! She said she was tired and wanted to sleep, and that's what she did. So guess what I did?  
I didn't even bother to unpack my luggage when I got the the cottage. I just cut off my corsett and shimmied myself into one of my old dresses. I took a small amount of money, and my satchell, and rode off into the small town an hour away, on one of them horses that the stables had.  
Rather than go to the city which only 20 minutes away, I rode that horse a good solid hour, I found myself in a small town.  
And guess what else?  
No side saddle, honey!  
I rode it like the man my pa taught me to be.  
There was a farmer's market in the middle of the town square, a white church, a small school, and a big factory.  
But the thing that caught my eye was the Brewery.  
I mean pub...or bar?  
Either way after I tied my horse down, I went in.  
Can't blame me.  
It's been a long time since this girls had a good beer.  
So I went in, only to see a wonderful sight.  
Smoke drifting everywhere from cigarettes, men dancing with girls, music everywhere.  
It was like the old shindigs ma and pa would throw for pa's birthday when we were younger.  
I made my way through the crowd to the bar.  
A man saw me and yelled over to me.  
"And what is it ye be having young lady?"  
"Any kind of beer you got!"  
The bartender quirked an eyebrow (probably at my american accent) and got my a mug filled with dark yellow beer.  
I drank it fast, savoring every bit.  
I brang out my little satchell and gave the bartender 2 dimes.  
"Another please!"  
He smirked and filled another for me.  
"Here ye are, lil' missy."  
I drank it until halfway.  
"I've never seen a girl drink as much as you before miss."  
I turned to find the voice of the man who had spoken to me.  
He had on a brown sweater, a white undershirt, and pants.  
He had curly brown hair, sticking out from his black bowling cap, and remarkable green eyes.  
He was smoking a cigarette, and looked to be very muscular, as if from manual labor.  
"Is that supposed to be an insult or compliment?"  
He smirked and leaned against the bar.  
"It all depends on how you want it to be."  
I smiled into my mug. I was begining to like this man.  
"Well I can tell you right now you're never going to find out how I take it."  
His smirk grew.  
"And why is that?"  
I drank the rest of my beer and put the empty mug behind me.  
"Because, it's more fun that way."  
The man feigned hurt over his heart.  
"Ah your breaking me heart missy. What can I do to make it up to ya?"  
I held out my hand to shake his.  
"You can give me your name for starters. Petrola Barton, nice to meet ya."  
The man smiled, not smirked, but smiled and stood up straight.  
"I'm Tommy Ryan. "  
He shook my hand hard.  
I shook it even harder.  
"So all you need is to know is my name?"  
"No I also want to know if your feet are as good as your handshakes. Can you dance?"  
He mock bowed toward the wooden dance floor.  
"After you mi'lady."  
I mock curtsied.  
"Thank you, fine gentleman."  
I went ahead of him to the dance floor, where very fast tempo'd music was playing.  
He grabbed me by the waist to bring me in closer, to where our chests were touching. I put one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hand.  
Then we were off. We span in circles around other couples all around the dance floor. We stepped on each other's feet, but laughed about it anyway. He even picked me up like a new blushin' bride and spun me around after the song finished.  
I had so much fun!  
We headed back to the bar laughing.  
"You should not dance professionally!"  
"Me? You stepped on my foot!"  
"That was your foot?"  
"Yes!"  
"I thought that was her foot." Tommy pointed to an old woman who hadn't left her seat the entire time that I've been there.  
We both looked at one another, and just burst out laughing.  
I shook my head at our sillines. Doing so I noticed the sun had already gone down, through one of the windows.  
My expression of giddyness turned to one of worry.  
"Oh no!"  
Tommy stopped laughing when he saw my face. "What's the matter?"  
"It's far too late to even navigate my way back home."  
I looked at him when an idea popped into my head.  
"Is there an Inn I might be able to stay at?"  
Tommy shook his head.  
"The only Inn is the one you're standing in, but women aren't allowed to stay by themselves."  
My hope dropped.  
"But the church offer's refuge to those who might need it for the night. Me mum helps out so I can see if she can get a place ready for you."  
I could barely contain my gratefulness. I wrapped my arms around his neck and jumped up and down excitedly.  
"Really? Oh thank you, thank you thank you!"  
"No problem. C'mon, let's go before it get's any later."  
"Okay." He took my hand and led me through the crowd.  
We made our way outside. I looked up. The sun had already gone down, but the moon took it's place. And it's little friends twinkled across the sky, like the most priceless dimonds.  
I went over to my horse, untied him, and spun back around to see Tommy lighting another cigarette.  
I walked over to him, leash in hand and said, "Which way?"  
"This be the way." We walked down the now quiet and abandoned street toward the church.  
I took Tommy's cigarette from his mouth.  
"So Tommy,-I took a drag and let it out,-tell me about yourself."  
"What would you like to know?"  
"Anything and everything."  
His eyebrows furrowed together in concentration.  
Then you can see his train of thought stop.  
"My name is Tommy Ryan. I'm 23 years old and I was born and raised in this small town of Manschief, Ireland. I have a job a farmer and a factory worker. I've been working since I was but a wee boy of 9. I never finished school. I live in a small house with my 5 brothers and sisters, all younger than me. My mum manages the farm, while me dad is away working in the shipyard. Someday I want to get out of here, and own me own land over in America. I want to go over there while I'm still young and able to work. I'll get married over there, and raise a family. So what about you?"  
I smiled.  
"I was born and raised in the Oaklahoma terrirtory, in the small town of Greenbow. My pa has his own small plot of land he earned in the Oaklahoma land rush. I have 4 older brothers. My pa and I go hunting, fishing, and farming together. I can skin animals, make jerky, sew, cook, and I can play the fiddle. My ma tends to smother me too much so I came here with one of our family friends to get away from everything. We'll be here for a while, then we'll head back to Oaklahoma. I want own land, with a forest in the back, and a field out front. It'll have a small cabin, and cows and horses and chickens."  
He laughed.  
"You sound so determined to live on your own. Don't ya want to get married and have kids?"  
"Yes, if I meet the right man. But he has to respect that I have dreams to. That I want to live my life first."  
We got to the church in time to see a blonde woman exiting out of the front door.  
"Hold on a second." Tommy said to me.  
"Mum!"  
He ran over to the woman. "Dear lord, Thomas, aren't you supposed to be home by now? What are you doing running about this hour?"  
"Mum, I met someone who need's a place to stay. Is the church available?"  
"Deary I just closed it."  
"But mum, she need's it. You know the Inn's policy about women."  
"She? Women?"  
Tommy's mom looked over his shoulder to notice me there, with my horse.  
"Oh Tommy! She's beautiful!"  
"Oh mum! I know, but we just met so don't even think about those grandkids."  
"Oh alrighty, I'll go open it on up. The lord knows it's not safe for a lady to travel on her own at night."  
So I said goodnight to Tommy and went to bed in a compfy room that a nun was staying in as well.  
I left as soon as the sun rose, and I rode all the way to the cottage. I didn't even bother putting the horse back, I was beat.  
Then I woke up and started to write in you.  
Well I'm going to hit the hay once more. With all my love, Petrola.

October 27th, 1911 I'm sorry I haven't written. I've been busy helping Molly clean the Manor, and going into town to do some sightseeing.  
Though while we were in the city, I saw the shipyard. I think it's the one Tommy talked about.  
The men there were almost finished with a new ship, that's due to set sail in April, from England. Molly was so impressed by it. It's the newest ocean liner from the White Star Line.  
It's called the Titanic. Rumor has it, it'll be unsinkable.  
Oh what would that be like? To sail a ship that's never to sink! The saftey that ensure makes me want to sail it myself.  
Any who, I haven't been able to go to Manschief at all, but get this:  
Miss Molly is going to a Halloween ball at some snooty old ladies house, so I'll be here by myself.  
You know what that mean?  
It means me and Bucky the Horse will take another trip to our favorite small town.  
Hopefully I get to see Tommy again.  
Oh darn, Miss Molly is a comin', so I gotta go.  
With all my love, Petrola.

October 30th, 1911.  
I have a mask and costume. Apperently Manschief throws a big Halloween festival every year in the towns square.  
I betcha' I'll see Tommy there.  
With all my love, Petrola 


	3. Chapter 3

November 1, 1911 LAST NIGHT WAS ABSOLOUTLEY POSITIVELY THE BEST NIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!  
I saw Tommy! And we danced in the middle of the town square, until midnight.  
Here's how my day went.  
I woke in the morning, bathed, and dressed to have breakfast with Miss Molly.  
She kept on looking at me funny all breakfast.  
Maybe because I was humming all of breakfast.  
Or Maybe because I missed my mouth with my spoon several times.  
Or maybe because I kept giggling at the slightest thing.  
Or was it the fact that she had to call me several times to get my attention?  
Anyway I spent the day curlnig my hair and organizing everything.  
Then Miss Molly came knocking on my door, asking if she could come in.  
"Yes Miss Molly." I said.  
I quickly hid my costume, which was hanging up one of of the four posters of my bed, under my bed.  
I unlocked, then opened the door.  
Miss Molly came in, wearing a fine gown, pearls, a purse, and was carrying a mask on a stick.  
"Hi Petrola. I wanted to know if you'll be okay here be yourself tonight."  
I shook my head excitedly. "Oh yes, I will be fine. Go enjoy yourself."  
Miss Molly didn't leave though.  
She just sat on my bed and looked at me.  
"Honey, I was out and about the other night. I heard about this amazing tailor in this small town nearby, the one told me about. I wanted a new suit for my son as you know. So I went to this small town to meet up with this tailor. I had made an appointment with them. I went in and I heard a lady talking with the tailor.  
I wasn't sure where Miss Molly was going with this, but I had a wrenching gut feeling it might be bad.  
"Oh really? What were they talking about?"  
"The woman was talking about her son. A man named Thomas. About how he had fun with this girl he met at the bar and how much he wanted to see her again. A girl from the United States. A girl from Oaklahoma. She met this girl, and gave her place to stay. You wouldn't happen to know about this mystery girl, would ya?"  
"Wow! There's another girl from Oaklahoma, here in Ireland!? Amazing, we should find her and look her up.""  
"Petrola, where on my face do you see stupid written across it?"  
"Um, no where I suppose."  
Miss Molly nodded. "Mhmm, now when did you meet this Tommy boy?"  
I sighed. There was no way I could lie to Miss Molly, not after all she's done for me.  
"The first day we came I rode my horse to Manschief. I saw a bar, went in, had a couple of drinks, and danced. I met Tommy."  
"Tommy?"  
"Yes Tommy, he perfers to be called that."  
"Petrola, are you sure he doesn't just like you, because of your family?"  
I blushed a tad bit.  
"Actually, the funny thing is Miss Molly, He doesn't know about me and my family. He thinks I'm as poor as he is."  
"How did you manage that?"  
Now Miss Molly just seemed amused.  
"I changed into one of my more... comfortable dresses."  
"Oh Petrola. You've made a mess of things."  
I bowed my head in shame.  
"Well I suppose the only thing you can do is go to that Halloween fesival tonight, to clear it up with him."  
I looked up in shock, to only see Miss Molly's micheivous face.  
"I was a girl once to you know."  
She got up and headed for the door. "Oh and I suppose that costume your hiding under your bed will suffice."  
I giggled.  
"Thank you Miss Molly."  
"Just behave yourself. Alright?"  
"Yes M'am."  
After Miss Molly left, I spent the rest of the evening getting myself ready.  
I put my hair down in curls, and wor a green celtice dress, will golden flowers trailing up from the bottom, white sleeves, and a black corset tied tight in the middle. I also had a long black cape, and a golden mask with a long pointed nose.  
The sun was setting and I went out quickly to my horse, and rode as fast as I could.  
The moon was already up somewhat when I entered the town. The townsquare was filled with people who surrounded a huge bonfire right in the middle of everything.  
I tied my horse in the back of the forest, put my mask on, pulled up my hood, and went on my way.  
The local band were playing high tempo'd music that sounded as if it were from ancient times.  
Many of the townspeople were wearing hairy coats and animal masks, dancing in circles around the bonfire.  
I smiled at their relvelry and joined in the dancing.  
Soon the musice turned to where all of us had to have a partner to dance. I was first paired with a rather pudgy man who kept stepping on my toes. Then I was spun off to a short young boy who was nearly yanked off his feet when we spun.  
Then I was spun to a very old man who could barely spin as it is.  
Then I was spun to a young man who spun too fast.  
I was tired and dizzy, so I went to one of the tables to sit down and drink.  
"Do ya mind if I join ya?" A familiar voice said.  
I looked up to see another furry coat and mask in front of me. But this one had a bowler cap.  
"Yeah."  
He sat down.  
Well more shlumped down sadly.  
"Why are you in a negitive mood?"  
"This girl I wanted to see didn't show.  
"And you're sad because of that? She's just a girl."  
"She's not like any girl I've ever met."  
"In a good way?"  
"Ya."  
I was slightly wondering if he heard my accent or not. Though I was guessing probably not, because everyone was so loud.  
So I decided to have some fun with it. :)  
"So is this girl pretty?"  
Tommy seemed taken aback by my question.  
"Yeah, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."  
I smiled.  
"Is that right?"  
"Yeah."  
"How adorable! Are you courting her?"  
"No. I've been thinking about it though, I ought to get to know her more however."  
"But if you did get to know her more, and you liked her, you would court her?"  
"Yeah." He quirked an eyebrow at me.  
"Did you kiss her?"  
"What? No! I might not be the richest folk and my manners may be shite, but I have respect for people."  
"But you would kiss her right?"  
He just turned a beat red in the firelight.  
"We aren't married though..."  
"Ya don't strike me as that type of man, and you're still avoidin' the question."  
He didn't say anything.  
"So that's a no."  
"Hey now, I didn' say that!"  
"But you're implying it."  
"I'm not!"  
"So you would kiss her!" I smirked.  
Tommy threw his hands in the air and groaned as he laid his head on the table.  
"I don't know why ya insist on giving me an interrogation like a copper!"  
"Well why don't you just answer the question? It's not a hard one."  
"Because that's prviate."  
"You kind of threw privacy out the window when you started to answer my questions, pal!"  
"What's it to ya? Why don't ya just leave me alone!" His voice sounded angry and he stood up sharply, glaring down at me.  
Well two can play at that game. I stood up quickly as well and put my hands over my hips, and glared at him through my mask.  
"Why are you getting worked up? It's just a simple question. Either yes, or no."  
"Why do ya want to know so much!"  
"Just answer the question Tommy!"  
"YES I WOULD KISS HER!"  
"Finally! Now we're gettin' somewhere!"  
He just glared at me.  
"Would you kiss her romantically or in a brash sorta way?"  
"I'm going." He walked toward the forest.  
"Wait!" I followed him in fear that I might've actually hurt his feelings.  
He was a fast walker. By the time I actually stumbled over branches, lifted up roots, and walked into a tree or two, I couldn't see him. I looked around to the left, right, behind me, he was no where.  
It was as bad as rotten meat.  
And I would know because I've had eaten it before. I was probably a mile into the forest.  
Then I felt something grabbing me by my waist behind me. It pulled me in closer, so close in fact,the top of my head was at the bottom of the chin.  
I felt the hand of it slightly remove my hair from the front of my shoulder to put it behind my shoulder. Then I felt the head go down slowly, their nose inhaling my scent.  
They got the top of my sleeve, and pushed it down off my shoulder.  
I slowly close my eyes as I felt a kiss being placed on my shoulder, very lightly.  
They gently pulled me backward, having us bump into a tree.  
I opened my eyes to look upward toward the stars. They all shined bright with the moon as their protecter, here to witness the magical senses eminating from me.  
The branches of this tree twisted in a sideways notion, to make a canopy over me.  
I felt the kisses being shifted from my shoulder to my other shoulder, whoes sleeve was pushed down as well.  
Then as the kisses began, they stopped.  
This person let go my waist stepped in front of me.  
It was Tommy. His mask was off and he had a very gentle look about him.  
His hand stretched out, and felt my heart beating. It was as his touch was speakin' to my soul and singin' to my heart.  
He backed me up against the tree as softly as he could, and got very close to me.  
Our chests touched, which made me blush.  
He moved his hand from my heart to my waist and pulled himself to my shouler.  
He resumed kissing it.  
I continued to take in these foreign feelings, as he rose his kisses from my shoulder to the arch of my neck.  
His other hand reached over my head, and pulled off my mask. He dropped it to the floor.  
His head raised so he could see my purplish eyes. I met the most beautiful sea green eyes.  
He then crashed his lips onto my own. I could only close my eyes to relish in this world of fantasy.  
"I couldn't be real." I thought to myself.  
Only his strong grip of his hand on my back and waist told me it was most certainly real.  
His lips were chapped only a tiny bit and they molded against mine.  
I didn't know if I did this right, but I kissed him back with as much ferocity. I put my hands under his arms, kissing him.  
He backed away from me gasping for his breath.  
"I knew it was ya Petrola."  
I merely nodded trying to catch my own breath.  
"Why did ya question me so?"  
"I was curious." "What?" He laughed.  
"Well ya did get me. Tis true that ya did, but soon enough I did find out who ya were, I did. "  
"How?"  
"Ya said my name, and I never told ya it."  
Oh.  
"Damn."  
He got a mischeivous glint in his eye.  
"So ya needed to pay for what ya did to me."  
I blushed a beat red, but thankfully he couldn't see it that well.  
"So you kissed me?"  
Tommy laughed really loud.  
"Yeah and I'm going to do it again."  
"Wha-" I was cut off by his lips.  
Only one word could decribe that moment.  
Intoxication.  
I was intoxicated by him.  
His lips.  
His scent.  
His entire being.  
Tommy Ryan was my intoxication.  
No beer, cigar, or other ungodly subastance could've compared to the addiction that Tommy Ryan was rapidly becoming for me.  
And at that moment that I figured it out, I realized, I was out of luck.  
It became clear to me as soon as Tommy released me and put his forehead to mine and said "I do want to court ya Petrola. That is if ya would have me."  
My eyes widened.  
"You don't even know me that well, you said it yourself."  
He smiled, showing his teeth.  
"This will be my chance to know more about the amazing person I already know you are."  
If he were a hot skillet, and I was butter, you can bet your ass I would be melting right then and there.  
I couldn't help but grin.  
"Alright."  
I draped my arms over his shoulders and said, "You're mine Tommy Ryan."  
He answered back saying, "Ya are mine, Petrola Barton."  
We spent the entire night in the woods talking with one another, about life, work, and family.  
I avoided the topic of poverty and wealth.  
Besides the kisses and our 'argument' there isn't much to tell but useless dialouge.  
I've been writing by lamplight for the past hour an half by now. The sun is setting and it is soon to go out.  
I stayed here today, tired from yesteray's escapade from reality.  
Miss Molly herself brought me some chicken soup, bread, and a glass of water fearing I was sick.  
No I wasn't sick, just tired.  
And writing ,(as beautiful as those memories are), at the moment might not help.  
I'll try to get some sleep.  
With all my love, Petrola Barton. 


End file.
